Colorless Soul – Finger Paint With Words

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 NIV1984

I began colorless in my soul, like grey skies or muddy water. Then the clouds rolled in and the billows of white and glimpses of blue started to show up. Small and timid at first, growing in intensity. Unsure of direction, swirling and at times tumultuous.

Storms gave way with flashes of light, electrifying my mind, setting fire to my ideas. How strange that the trials illuminated the dark places. Treacherous storms ripped through my soul, dug up fresh earth, knocked down tall trees that grew without sending deep roots.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

The colors that remain are lush and green a new me that’s still growing in understanding, still sorting through the rubble of the person I wanted to be. I turn over a plank of the old barn and find rich soil beneath. At first ignoring the fresh shoots of nourishing plants growing beneath, fascinated by the old grey plank. I want to go back. Momentarily I long for the colorless me, the dirty old barn that was built for a makeshift shelter from the world that hurts and curses those who stand against the norm. Turning over that board with it’s rusty nails I stroke the rough surface and imagine myself back there, content in my ignorance. I hug the plank and hum a placid tune but when my eyes open I discover the life beginning to shoot up from the rich soil that once was under the rubble.

The choice is sometimes excruciating. To be the me I had planned or to surrender. Sometimes when I realize I was made to serve others I want to build that old barn back up and hide behind those old gray walls.

But today, with a small ray of sunshine striking out between billowing clouds and a sliver of iridescent blue sky growing larger with each massive wind gust, I decide to choose Peace. I choose not to be afraid of loosing myself to the One who made me.

13 thoughts on “Colorless Soul – Finger Paint With Words”

  1. “The colors that remain are lush and green a new me that’s still growing in understanding, still sorting through the rubble of the person I wanted to be.”

    Liked this line. I really enjoy your writing style.

    1. Thanks Sara, It’s best when I don’t think so much. I love 5min Fri. So glad you’ve come. :)

  2. When I read this it brought to mind the song, Painting Pictures of Egypt, by Sara Groves. One of my favorite songs. You have such colorful writing! Thanks so much for stopping by today so I could meet you and be enriched!

    1. I’m going to have to listen to that song! Thanks for the heads up. I’m excited. I love Egypt. :)

  3. I loved the picture of a storm uprooting trees, disturbing the earth, but eventually causing new growth, new life. I loved the line, “How strange that the trials illuminated the dark places.” It reminds me of how farmers once burned land in order to make it fertile and productive the next season.
    Your writing is vivid.
    Thanks for your encouraging words over on my blog. You made my day :).

    1. I’m so glad I could encourage you today Sarah and connect even through these web pages. Happy writing! I enjoyed being at your place too.

  4. I’ve just started a study of James and this made me think of what I’m learning. I often want to hide out in that barn instead of finding joy in the trials and growing into the perfection God has planned for me. We’d rather be colorless because it’s comfortable, like grey sweats. Thanks for this great visual. Thanks for stopping by my little place earlier. Fellow part-time rednecks are always welcome!

  5. Oh my. I feel speechless.

    Thanks a lot for seeing into my heart this morning and making me cry and making me want to run into my Father’s arms because that’s exactly how I feel sometimes and it’s scary, ugly, beautiful, wonderful.

    How’s that for being speechless?

  6. Wow! This could be one particular of the most beneficial blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Wonderful. I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your effort.

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